What the fuck is going on with that anyway?
What's with all this Charlie Sheen is a crazy monster stuff? I turn on my 19" digital tv to watch the new idiotic MSNBC lineup and am subjected to the shouty blabberings of a meathead like Cenk Ugyur - or whatever his name is - and the sanctimonious pontifications of dreary humorless scoldpottle Lawrence O'Donnell. All about something Charlie Sheen has apparently done, or hasn't done, or whatever. Why am I being subjected to reports of horrible crimes against nature that apparently involve the crazy MonsterSheen shacking up with one (or even two) southern Califonia porno hotties (which sounds good to me) and drinking or not drinking after work (which still sounds ok to me too) and doing interviews on radio and tv calling people at CBS assholes - I still don't see a problem here - and so on, and so on. What am I missing? Why am I being asked to participate in some trial-by-TV cable noise sideshow involving Charlie Sheen?
I don't know why.
I don't get it. I don't think Charlie Sheen sounds crazy. But I think the people on the tv yalping about Charlie Sheen sounding crazy sound kind of crazier than Charlie Sheen. Are we all Nancy Grace now, or what?
Someone explain the Great Charlie Sheen Scare of 2011 to me. Pleeece! Halp!
Please. Before the spring tornadoes on CNN and MSNBC begin snatching helpless Okies from trailer parks in Custer county and the bull sharks off the coast of Pensacola begin eating little fat kids on foam-core kickboards or Michael Jackson claws his way up from the grave to re-haunt our collective cable-noise carnival Big Wheel. And such. But I really don't give a flying fuck what Charlie Sheen does with his free time. I really don't give a fuck what Charlie Sheen does with his paid time either for that matter. And I've never even seen Charlie Sheen's tv sitcom show. Because I just do not fucking care what Charlie Sheen does unless he's somehow responsible for shitting benzene into a river or screwing kindergarten teachers out of a living wage or shooting at doctors through a kitchen window at 2am. Until then, I'm convinced Charlie Sheen is pretty much a color coded non-threat to the peace and welfare of our nation.
Know what I mean?
I think you do.