nature trail

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Rand Paul is Stupid

Rand Paul, filiblustering on the Senate floor:

“It was a chaotic situation,” the Kentucky senator said. “Out of that chaos, Hitler was elected democratically. They elected him out of this chaos.” International Business Times

Someone please inform Senator Koo-Koo from Kentucky that Hitler wasn't elected. Hitler never won any election to public office. Hitler was appointed Chancellor of Germany by Paul von Hindenburg who, at the time, was President of Germany. Hindenburg appointed Hitler to shore up a conservative coalition - to form a conservative majority government - which would include the Nazi Party.

For more on this topic see:
Rand Paul is Stupid (Booman Tribune)

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"It is a brilliant story - fake and fraud that it is"

Bob's Story

Anyone remember Janet Cooke? She was the WaPo reporter who, in 1980, wrote a feature story about a little eight year old named Jimmy who was a heroin addict living in the DC area. It turned out that her story was a fabrication based upon rumor and hearsay. But not before Cooke was nominated and awarded a Pulitzer Prize for her effort. She later returned the prize, after the fabrication was revealed, but it was Bob Woodward, then the assistant managing editor at the Washington Post, who nominated Cooke for the Pulitzer.

I think that the decision to nominate the story for a Pulitzer is of minimal consequence. I also think that it won is of little consequence. It is a brilliant story—fake and fraud that it is. It would be absurd for me or any other editor to review the authenticity or accuracy of stories that are nominated for prizes. ~ [Bob Woodward; 1981]

Glug. Apparently, Cooke was eventually paid over a million dollars for the screen rights to her story. Not bad. But for, considering now-a-days, she could have turned her talent for making stuff up into a multimillion dollar on-air broadcast misinfotainment career with Fox News or perhaps Clear Channel Radio. Some people are just in the wrong place at the wrong time I guess.

Her story was never made into a movie however. And I wonder if the studio ever recieved any threats... I mean friendly advice!... very friendly advice... from Bob Woodward demanding... I mean suggesting!... just suggesting... that the fucking studio better fucking not... I mean kindly refrain from... kindly refrain from proceeding with the project... or hells... I mean or els... orioles!... Baltimore orioles!, yes, Baltimore orioles... right outside the window! Ok, gotta go, bye! (click)

Hoo-boy, I bet those shrimp cocktail and Tom Collins garden party mixers in Georgetown are a blast. And while we're on the subject of brilliant frauds...


Andrew Breitbart is Still Dead

Andrew Breitbart (Feb, 1, 1969 - March 1, 2012) always reminded me of Republican congressloon Bob Dornan of California. Like Dornan, Breitbart struck me as having more than one too many loose lug nuts rattling around in his hubcap at any given time.

Like one of those people who you don't want to let into your house until you've locked up all the steak knives and scissors and hidden the charcoal lighter fluid. Breitbart regularly appeared as if he were on the downside of a sweaty three day codeine jag or fleeing from a Chelsea row house after being flogged with a cattail whip by Jennifer Jean Lopez. Or looked like one of those guys ya see in sports bars screaming at the television after they realize that they've lost their wedding ring and family burial plots betting on a BCS title game.

"Goddamnit, that sadistic spinster Lopez told me Notre Dame was a sure thing! She told me she had an inside tip from the patron saint of college football St Ronald Reagan himself!! I'll have that panty sniffing dork James O'Keefe drag her off to his pimp-barn and videotape her pole dancing in her underpants beneath a banner that reads "Friends of Hamas Cayman Islands Victory Cruise'"!!!! That's the last email you'll get from me Lopez... MAY GOD STRIKE ME DEAD FIRS..... (!ack!).

Alas. The memorial statue pictured above - erected in honor of Andrew - now stands in the Great Hall of Right Wing Loons in the heart of Mulligan's Valley. Not far from the Midas Muffler shop and Galt's All Night Ambient Static Electric Laundromat.

Sleep tight, you stupid obnoxious asshole.

For more on this topic read:
It's Time to Mourn Breitbart, by BooMan - Fri Mar 1st, 2013. (Booman Tribune)

and:

The Trials of Nadia Naffe
"She could have been the Republican party’s future. Instead, she was abandoned, insulted, abused, and ridiculed by the GOP and its partisans". - By Chris Faraone, February 28, 2013. (The Phoenix)

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Mittstory; The Last Page

Alternate ending:
We were on a plane. And it was very exciting. The plane went up and we were flying high. But then the plane had to land and it was like, oh no, can't we be flying high for the rest of our life? It's like no, the flight's over, and we need to retrieve the dog from the wheel well of the plane.


This concludes another chapter of Bad Endings to Stupid Stories.






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The wingnuts on the bus go round and round...

the babies on the bus go
whaa whaa whaa
whaa whaa whaa
whaa whaa whaa
the babies on the bus go
whaa whaa whaa
all through the town



What a weird couple of weeks it's been in the outlands of Wingnutia.

I enjoyed reading Erik Erickson's recent critique of conservative movement media and his offer to help redesign the wheels on the conservative movement par-tea bus.

"...we must, to a degree, reinvent the wheel on basic reporting." Says Erick.

And to illustrate his point he revisits The Great ObamaPhone Boon of 2012:

The “Obamaphone” is a great example of this. Conservatives laughed out loud at the video of the lady saying Barack Obama had given her a phone. Conservatives used it as an example of all that was wrong with the expansion of the welfare state under Barack Obama. What many conservatives missed was that the program was a pre-existing program. In fact, the “Obamaphone” idea goes back to the Reagan Administration, but the present program was implemented in 2008 when George W. Bush was President. Government funds are not even used directly.

Focus on the Obamaphone by conservatives missed a number of key points and, in not covering the basic facts, sent conservative activists down rabbit holes. It would have been helpful if conservative reporters spent more time laying out the basic who, what, where, when, why, and how of the issue before exploring the necessity of the program and the fact that there are Americans who credit Barack Obama with giving them that phone.

Conservatives went to the critique in some cases before fully understanding the program. This happens on both sides of the aisle, but conservatives have to be better informed and more versed in the facts because the media already leans left and gives more latitude to the left.

Aside from the usual conservative as victim of a left leaning media hem-n-haw Erickson is concerned that conservative media has a tendency to promulgate nonsense and play fast and loose with facts and reality. Shocking, I know. From death panel conspiracies to birth certificate snipe hunts and rambling incoherent treatises on everything from ACORN to the Weather Underground the movement conservative media has, according to Erickson, supplanted "the art of persuasion" with "anger and noise":

The [conservative] echo in the chamber has gotten so loud it is not well understood outside the echo chamber in the mainstream press and in the public. It translates only as anger and noise, neither of which are conducive to the art of persuasion.

Conservatives are trying so hard to highlight controversies, no matter how trivial, we have forgotten the basics of reporting:

Of course Erickson forgets that, in the case of conservative media, anger and noise is considered persuasive. Mutually conducive means to an end. To hell with "the art" part.

Erickson, being your basic lumpish conservative, then goes on to credit Rush Limbaugh, screechy Mark Levin and himself for "lamenting" conservative media not "more versed in the facts." Which would be a valid point if it weren't such a ridiculous assertion to suggest that Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin are practitioners of "the basics of reporting" instead of being highlighters for the very trivial talking points and fact challenged controveries Erickson wants you to believe he laments.

Just as troubling, there are some conservative reporters out there who aim for the basic facts, but get stuck on talking points. Rush Limbaugh, Mark Levin, myself, and others have been lamenting a lot of conservative reporters for this very reason.

Oh sure. Nobody peddled the Obamaphone foolishness as often as Limbaugh - and Levin - and Hannity. Not one of them made any effort to present "basic facts" to their listeners in that case. So much for baselines of integrity.Yet Erickson ignores this contradiction and credits a talking point ditto machine like Limbaugh for despairing of such tactics. (Project your own weakness on to your opponent). Limbaugh doesn't even believe a reporter needs access to government officials to report on what government officials are doing or saying. Limbaugh, during his February 19 radio show, complains about reporters for the political gossip outfit Politico who are complaining about not having enough resources and access to White House personnel:

How hard is it to write a story on Obama lying... ? How hard is it to do that? [...] Why do you need any resource other than a computer? What am I missing? Why is it so hard to question what the president says? You have a White House, you have a computer, you have a website, and you have a keyboard, and you write on there, and then it goes to your website, it goes out. What resource do you need beyond what you've got?

[...]

I don't have any access to Obama. I got zilch, zero, nada access to Obama. That hasn't stopped me.

[...]

We don't find it difficult to learn things that are true about Obama that you don't seem to be able to find, and we don't have any access.

Right, who needs all that "basics of reporting" stuff Erickson is croaking about when ya can just slump in your panic room swivel chair in Palm Beach and broadcast whatever gibberish happens to strike your fancy on any given air conditioned afternoon. Ya know, like when Obama said that Mitt Romney "doesn't care if a guy's wife dies of cancer,":

You [Politico reporters] don't seem curious to learn anything about this administration or Obama and his motives. He writes that Mitt Romney doesn't care if a guy's wife dies of cancer, and you go out and ask Romney, "Why do you not care if a guy's wife dies of cancer?" rather than investigate why the hell Obama would make such an outrageous claim. I don't know. We just don't see your job as that hard.

Of course Obama never said or wrote any such thing but that doesn't matter to Rush Limbaugh because Rush Limbaugh isn't a journalist or a reporter he's just a transmitter, a pitchman, for any assortment of smeary talking points and slippery stories spoon fed to him by a dead drunk slop shoot like Breitbart.com or Tucker Carlson's little online playpen the Daily Caller. Or FOX News. Or that bulwark of high nuttery World Net Daily. Among others.

To make matters even more ridiculous, only a day after Erickson hit the publish button on his complaint that conservatives should be more wary of runaway garbage trucks, he hopped right into the smelly hopper of the runaway garbage truck hauling the Bob Woodward threatened by Chicago thugs stories from one dump to another. Later in the day Erickson abandoned that unpleasant situation when everyone learned that ole Bob was practicing the art of swinging-the-lamp on that one.

So, pardon me if I'm a little unconvinced of Erickson's sincerity with respect to getting the stories true and down with the facts and onboard with the basic reporting stuff. Not when you are citing a couple of wingnut windup toys like Rush Limbaugh and Mark Levin as examples of media integrity. Seems to me Erickson is simply delivering a pitch to some moneyed interest that might be interested in financing his movement conservative media talent search. He claims he wants to reinvent the wheel on basic reporting within the conservative media - well - I have a suggestion for him: try mounting round wheels on the wingnut bus. They work pretty good most of the time.

~::~::~::~::~::~
In other news:

Speaking of reinventing clunkers: The captain of the cruise ship Holy See has hoisted the absentee pennant and retired to his humble pilgrim stateroom to watch The Bells of St. Mary's on DVD and wait for the whole creaky leaky haunted slush-tub to go careening over the edge of the flat earth. Castel Gandolfo countryclub went into lockdown on Thursday evening which officially means that the Papal Beast will be lumbering around without a head, like some kind of horrible blind oaf in a pair of red slippers, for the next several days.

Maybe Rick Santorum will be selected as the new Pontiff Supreme. The first married Pope! And the first order of business under Pope Ricky (Simplicius I) would be to canonize José Antonio Primo de Rivera. And the next thing to do would be to issue some formal Papal proclamation sealed with a leaden bulla that would prohibit priests from owning dogs. Maybe appoint Antonin Scalia to the office of Chief Excorcist. Next, it's off to the Castel for some family R&R and a BBQ with the Knights of Malta - which will be billed to the taxpayers of Pennsylvania. Greetings from Vat City! Urbi et Orbi!

And there ya have it.

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SBL Nature Trail

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Holy See Ya Later

Papal Peacock XVI to "retire" into hiding:

According to the Vatican’s chief spokesman, the Rev. Federico Lombardi, after the election Benedict will settle in a former cloistered convent inside the Vatican walls, which is currently being renovated.

During a press conference on Monday (Feb. 11), Lombardi said Benedict will “lead a life of prayer,” and will be free to “move and communicate to the public” as he pleases.

But Benedict will probably keep a low profile after his resignation, without running any risk of overshadowing the work of his successor.

If avoiding a blizzard of subpoenas is your objective what could be more congedo maestoso-like than bugging out to a newly renovated cloistered convent inside the Vatican walls? After a brief stop at the lake house to retrieve some towels, flip flops and the canoe with the hand carved St. Sebastian figurehead that is. After that it's like Benito Mussolini "retiring" to L'Hotel Campo Imperatore in 1943. Or Mitt Romney descending from view aboard his Phatom Park car elevator. Grande!

Yet all is not decorous and chaste with the Roman Curia - whether it's rolling naked little boys in olive oil or banishing demons from some godforsaken host or laundering denaro on behalf of the Camorra - the Vatican has plently of holy shit rain on it's collection plate as of late. Hosing down the confessionals each afternoon with bleach and bug sweeps has become it's own dicastery.

None of the recent Vatican related scandal is any secret to Italians but I expect that the press this side of the Atlantic will continue to insist that the Pontifex Maximus is stepping down from the throne due to complications with swollen ankles or varicose veins that no manner of elastic stockings can remedy. These days, a Pope needs to be spry and sure and able to fire up the Avanti P180 turboprop with the remote control on a moments notice in the event of a hostile takeover or an asset forfeiture auction in London or an outbreak of Freemasonry in East Timor. Or something. It's always something.

And while we're on the topic of child molesters...

Reportedly, the Texas GOP has invited rock-n-roll misfire and general all around celebrity low-life Ted Nugent to attend tonight's State Of The Union address. Well, at least runaway teenage girls across Texas can rest a little easier for one night. Maybe the presdident will acknowledge The Noodge by reminding Americans of the presence of the lyricist who implored all of us to selfless public service with these abiding words:

I make the pussy purr with
The stroke of my hand
They know they gettin' it from me
They know just where to go
When they need their lovin' man
They know I do it for free

God bless America. From sea to shining sea.

Or this apparently autobiographical toe tapping ditty:

Well I don´t care if you´re just thirteen
You look too good to be true
I just know that you´re probably clean
There´s one lil' thing I got do to you

Jailbait you look so good to me
Jailbait won´t you set me free
Jailbait you look fine fine fine
I know I´ve got to have you in a matter of time

[...]

Wait a minute officer
Don´t put those handcuffs on me
Put them on her and I´ll share her with you!

Live free or die!

Motor City Morons:
So, on Tuesday, February 12, 2013 Ted Nugent will be stroking some purring Teabagger pussy for free. Afterall, the GOP-Tea Party knows where to go when they need some lovin'.

Ted and his SOTU chaperone Rep. Steve Stockman (R-Texas) [both originate from the suburbs of Detroit, Michigan] should make Texas proud. Proud as a peacock.

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Looks like a blizzard for New England beginning Friday into Saturday. I like looking at the forecast model maps because they is a purty. At left is a forecast model map for Sat (Feb 9) showing the storm off the NE coast (NYC vicinity).

Below maps show possible storm precipitation totals for the duration. Looks like a lot of snow for the Boston area and rain and snow for Cape Cod. Maybe two feet of snow for Boston. Hurricane force winds on the Cape. That sort of thing.

But thats not all...

There could be a Valentines Day storm as well. Below are forecast model maps for that possiblity beginning around the 11th and winding up along the NE coast on the 14th.

Click the maps for full size view.

I like storms like this so I hope there is at least a lot of snow where I am (I can do without the wind). There was one report I read about models showing as much as six feet of snow for parts of New Hampshire. Hard to believe something like that would actually happen but ya never know.

I'm pretty sure that President Obama has sent these storms to the northeast in order to create a distraction while he destroys Arthur Laffers' voodoo ranch in Rancho Santa Fe, California with a series of drone strikes. If the forecast models play out as expected. (Laffer worked his way through the 1980s providing a steady supply of heroin to Ronald Reagan.)

Beats writing another post about the snow grifter from Lake Lucille.

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FOX Nooze Sets Palin Adrift

Palin, following a flight from Newark to Sault Ste. Marie, crosses Lake Superior on her way to Thunder Bay, Ontario where she will catch a bus bound for the Yukon. Along the way she will kill and eat a trout, have her photo taken with a gigantic fiberglass moose, share a bottle of Fireball with a biker chick from Saskatoon who knew Greta back when she was just a stripper in Tampa, apply for a job with the Aboriginal Peoples Television Network affiliate in Whitehorse, deliver a speech on the importance of discipleship and media to the Alaska Bible College in Glenhallen, and arrive home in in the Mat-Su Valley in plenty of time for casual attire night at the Parks Highway Taco Bell in Wasilla.

Who needs Roger Ailes when you have Joseph Farah. Sarah Palin for Governor of California! (That's right John McCain, you bloodless impotent hump, Governor of California -- 2015!)

The dreamer never sleeps, a quitter never gives up!

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Rand Paul: the Pauly Shore of the Senate Chamber Bio-Dome

If Rand Paul were president[*] (according to Rand Paul):

“Had I been president at the time,... I would have relieved you of your post,” said [Rand] Paul [to Sec of State Hillary Clinton] during the Senate Foreign Relations Committee hearing....

Uh huh. Shoor ya would have. And that is exactly what the terrists would want a tea smoking koo-koo boy-prez baby Doc Paul to do. Maybe Prez Paul would have relieved his Sec of State (as if Hillary Clinton would ever have agreed to be Rand Paul's Sec of State in the first palce) in Arabic, Berber and Kentucky Dumbass. Broadcasting the dismisal over crackly loudspeakers to the swarthy peoples of Libya. Because if there is one thing a terrist attack planner FEARS the most it's infighting and finger pointing and trigger-happy publicity stunt chaos among it's target leadership. Uh huh. Shoor it is.

Christ, what functional cretin. Obviously the GOP clown car is being tuned and repainted for 2016 and Rand "Pauly Sure" Paul has reserved himself some door panel advertising space and a window seat. Better hurry though, Randy, I hear Ricky "Gaspipe" Santorum has already reserved the clown car hood space for the yoke and arrows of the Catholic Neo-Falange.

[*]Fortunately, outside of another Pauly Shore movie - and even that is probably unlikely - Rand Paul will never be president of anything. Well. ok, maybe someday he'll be mayor of one of Glenn Beck's weird doomsday cult comic book communities, but that's about as close as he'll get.

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