Sunday, August 29, 2010
Glenn Beck's Snoozapaloozzzzza
The Great White Woodchuck Rally in Washington D.C. has concluded.
Fervidly publicized as some kind of mooncake and codswallop picnic for hundred-percenter Teabag Jesus American patrioteers the Great Beck And Call 2010 will spill away into the late summer gloam more Brut Prestige mimosa than OC gas miasma. More of a buck's fizzler than a Beck sizzler. I feel cheated. What happened to The Plan? What the hell is the plan? Where's the miracle? What about the fucking miracle! And where was Ted Nugent! What happened to Ted Nugent?
Was Mamma Grizzly afraid the Noodge would bait her into the bear garden and chain her to a locust post for future field dressing or leap out of a Landrover Defender safari vehicle dressed in a white leopard spandex catsuit weilding an early classic model 70 Winchester .375 H&H magnum bolt-action rifle and begin screaming "suck on my machine gun you scrotumless pimps and whores and geriatric welfare brats" while The Great Woodchuck himself sobs into a microphone and the entire Wingnut Be-In degenerates into some kind of neo-Altamont Speedway wang dang balagan.
I guess the Noodge got the screwdge from the FOXNoise event planning czar this time around. Honor denied. Heh, indeedy.
Nevertheless, the whole sleepy monotonous drone-fest managed to ramble on as planned and succeeded in attracting somewhere around 80-90 thousand spoon-fed votaries of one kind of conservative taxonomic category or another to the National Mall and thats something in and of itself I suppose. Although, as they say (whoever they are): "one swallow does not make a summer".
In any case, I'm sure Glenn Beck will be sobbing for joy all the way to the offshore bank. And Princess Wee-Wee of Wasilla will be crying whee!-whee!-whee! all the way home.
Posted by the farmer at 5:54 AM