This is a common Red Back Salamander. About 3-5 inches long. At least I'm pretty sure that's what it is. I have many - possibly hundreds of thousands - of these things living in my basement. They are always down there. Year after year, all year long. I have no idea what they do most of the time or what in gods name they find to eat down there. I assume they do not eat mice. But they seem to like it in the basement and thrive happily. As happily a salamander can thrive, I imagine. I've thought of trying to train them to do something but I'm having a hard time thinking of something for them to do that I can't do myself.
I tried to teach them to march around the basement floor in formation like some kind of salamandarian occupation army. I told them stories of giant hellbenders and recounted the legends of the mudpuppy kings. To inspire them. I even made some little flags and banners for them to carry around but that didn't work out to well either. They appear to lack the kind of discipline neccesary for this sort of thing. I was thinking of bringing in a large toad or spotted salamander or possibly a couple of red newts to lead them since they always run away and hide under a wet wood pallet or something like that whenever I command them to assemble for parade duty. Maybe they would listen to their own kind. Then again, maybe not.
Maybe, instead of trying to organize them into a disciplined amphibian army, I'll pick one or two of the best of the bunch and feed them enormous amounts of meal worms dipped in protein mix and see if I can raise a couple of 3-5 foot long salamonsters by next summer. And then I'll train them to climb a step ladder and leap into a kiddie pool full of wet dollar bills.
Or maybe I'll go back to trying to attach little tiny "headlamp" cameras to squirrels. Or maybe I'll take up playing golf in my living room. I could get the hole saw and cut holes through the carpet and floorboards and turn my living room floor into a putting green. So what?
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14 comments:
are they fast? maybe they eat centipedes. or dust. once is a while big winged little bugs show up in my shower. i like them, but very stupid. always flying into the water or getting nailed by my wash cloth. i hadn't seen any in months and 1 showed up again.
oh, where's the legs?
they can move along pretty good when they get going. maybe i'll get some wet leaves and a log for them. build them a little habitat. you can see the two back legs sticking straight out but looks like the front legs are underneath him.
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The loudest coqui in pr has taken up residence just outside our bedroom window. He gives daily concerts beginning around 1:00 a.m., which is about the time we usually go to bed. Like all coquis, the only song he knows is a two note (do/sol) two syllable (co/qui} tune with the accent on sol/qui. He doen't serenade us to sleep; he keeps us up late. I haven't spotted him yet, but he's probably the size of a fingernail and cute as hell. Fuck him. For a miniature frog he sure causes a racket. We're thinking of moving to another bedroom beginning tonight.
try going to bed at 3.
little legs. glorified snake.
He gives daily concerts beginning around 1:00 a.m.
he's trying to get laid. serenading the little frog groupies who show up for the coqui nuts.
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i bet there is another name for that brown thing.
a frong.
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frogs have edible legs. snakamander?
snakamander. i like the sound of that. and if i could get them to obey my orders i could be the snakamander commander.
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as they don't need us, i doubt they would listen. you'd think cats would listen.
you'd think cats would listen.
no i wouldn't. Cats think that you need them.
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the Egyptians fault?
No, pansy, unless you mean kindly, well-meaning old Egyptian women who went soft in the head as well as the heart and started caring more about their stupid fucking cat horde more than anything else in the World.
Some day they'll prove cats caused the decline and fall of all the great civilizations throughout history.
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