Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Great Charlie Sheen Scare of 2011

What the fuck is going on with that anyway?

What's with all this Charlie Sheen is a crazy monster stuff? I turn on my 19" digital tv to watch the new idiotic MSNBC lineup and am subjected to the shouty blabberings of a meathead like Cenk Ugyur - or whatever his name is - and the sanctimonious pontifications of dreary humorless scoldpottle Lawrence O'Donnell. All about something Charlie Sheen has apparently done, or hasn't done, or whatever. Why am I being subjected to reports of horrible crimes against nature that apparently involve the crazy MonsterSheen shacking up with one (or even two) southern Califonia porno hotties (which sounds good to me) and drinking or not drinking after work (which still sounds ok to me too) and doing interviews on radio and tv calling people at CBS assholes - I still don't see a problem here - and so on, and so on. What am I missing? Why am I being asked to participate in some trial-by-TV cable noise sideshow involving Charlie Sheen?

I don't know why.

I don't get it. I don't think Charlie Sheen sounds crazy. But I think the people on the tv yalping about Charlie Sheen sounding crazy sound kind of crazier than Charlie Sheen. Are we all Nancy Grace now, or what?

Someone explain the Great Charlie Sheen Scare of 2011 to me. Pleeece! Halp!

Please. Before the spring tornadoes on CNN and MSNBC begin snatching helpless Okies from trailer parks in Custer county and the bull sharks off the coast of Pensacola begin eating little fat kids on foam-core kickboards or Michael Jackson claws his way up from the grave to re-haunt our collective cable-noise carnival Big Wheel. And such. But I really don't give a flying fuck what Charlie Sheen does with his free time. I really don't give a fuck what Charlie Sheen does with his paid time either for that matter. And I've never even seen Charlie Sheen's tv sitcom show. Because I just do not fucking care what Charlie Sheen does unless he's somehow responsible for shitting benzene into a river or screwing kindergarten teachers out of a living wage or shooting at doctors through a kitchen window at 2am. Until then, I'm convinced Charlie Sheen is pretty much a color coded non-threat to the peace and welfare of our nation.

Know what I mean?

I think you do.



Anonymous said...

I wish I could explain it. But I have to agree with you on. I don't see anything wrong with Charlie either. He is enjoying his life. And good for him being able to be himself and let the world into his life. Although a part of me does sense there is more to all this too. I see him acting a bit like Michael Jackson. In the way that MJ would fool the media with his crazy stories that people would believe it all. It may all be part of some bigger plan. Time will tell.

jp said...

Totally agree with you farmer, all that coverage takes away from what's really important..Lady Googa Ga Goo

pansypoo said...

charlie sheen is just a new picasso. and the gnews have no sharks, no missing pregnant bllond. only missing black girl and she won't get jazz hands treatment, whereas, sheen apparently is in a sitcom on teevee and the sheeple watch it.

meh. i was not impressed when i saw lucas. didn't much care for sheen then. tho i liked him better in hot shots/part deux, but still no thrill.

pjk said...

When I tune in to what's supposed to be a national news/commentary type shows I'd like to be spared the celebrity fashion gossip who's fucking or not fucking who stories.

I'd like the same time spent on how bullshit leverage speculation by 1% investors can increase the price of oil by 67% in 8 months, and get the media to sell future $5 gas despite abundance of supply.

Charlie likes to catch a good buzz and have sex without consequence or obligation now and then.

On his own time, after he makes his employer a buttload of cash.

And he's probably a union member. You know how THEY are.

the farmer said...

what's really important..

lady gnocca.


pjk said...

Has she performed onstage at the Knocker Locker?

pansypoo said...

can we get back to zha zha?

the farmer said...

Whats Dennis Rodman been up to lately?


pansypoo said...

looks like she may be taking the death panel exit.

the farmer said...

zsa zsa: i see. at least it appears she was own death panel if the news stories are accurate.


pansypoo said...

sometimes death is preferable.