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Friday, February 3, 2012

37 Woodchucks Can't Be Wrong




Winter/Spring 2012 - Our Nation's Leading Woodchucks Reach A Decision

27 Woodchucks predict an early Spring (including Shubenacadie Sam of Novia Scotia).

10 Woodchucks (including Pencil Vannia's Punxsutawney Phil) predict 6 more weeks of Winter.

Technically Phil and the other 9 pessimistic woodchucks are correct. The first day of Spring this year is on March 20th. Which is over six weeks away, despite the temperature on the back porch. On the other hand, the other 27 rodents are also correct since Spring will arrive on the 20th of March this year (a day earlier) as opposed to the 21st of March as it sometimes decides to do in other years.

For the woodchucks, it's a heads we win tails you loose wager. You can't beat the woodchucks on this one. Even if you're buried in three feet of snow on March 25th.

Real woodchucks - the kind that don't live in fancy five star heated burrows who are woken up every February 2nd to entertain morons on behalf of the local Chamber of Commerce or some photographer working for a shitty Gannett newspaper - sleep right through the whole groundhog day bullshit until sometime in March or April when they wake up, take a pee, eat some grass, and run around trying to get laid. Because (despite the efforts of the local Chamber of Commerce and the Rick Perry GOP presidential nomination campaign) God hasn't come up with anything better for them to do in a very long time. We should all be so lucky.

Photo above: from my summer of 2010 documentary Woodchucks in the Midst - the summer i decided to go and live among the woodchucks (not the first or last time either) - a "real" woodchuck (aka: groundhog) sneaking around in the bush. Probably looking to score some zucchini blossoms. We should all be so lucky.

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Mr. Delightful




On delightful quality time for the unemployed.




The delightful beneficent Mitt




Via Kansas City Star
Romney stepped to the microphone. "There are some things that you just can't imagine happening in your life. This is one of them," he said. "Being in Donald Trump's magnificent hotel and having his endorsement is a delight."


Deep pockets excite; afternoon delight.




Through a Web Site Under Construction, a Secret Donor Is Revealed (NYTimes):
The identities of several major donors to Restore Our Future, the “super PAC” backing Mitt Romney, remain hidden from public view, even after their recent filing with the Federal Election Commission, because their contributions were made through limited liability companies or other entities that seem to exist solely on paper. The issue was highlighted in a front-page article in The New York Times on Wednesday.


Some of my best friends are post office boxes!
One of the mystery donors to the pro-Romney super PAC, contributing $250,000 in late July, was identified only as “Paumanok Partners L.L.C.” in the most recent campaign finance reports, which were filed late Tuesday night. The report listed just a post office box for Paumanok in New Canaan, Conn.


I see by your outfit that you are delightful:
Sarah Palin, Hiring Black People, and 28 Other Things That Delight Mitt Romney (New York Magazine)

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Wednesday, February 1, 2012

Stalin Defeats Trotsky in Doomed Floridka Purge!




(Click image for full size)

Komrad Palin (Servant Commissar for Heart of Provisional Frozen Turnip Collective and State Petrol Wealth Redistribution) refudiates Stalin-esque tactics of Chairman Mitt-Stalin (Board of Commissars for Leveraged Purges and Deportations) in defense of visionary revolutionary Newton Leroy Trotsky (People's Commissar for Red State Army and Lunar Orphanage Colonization Affairs) and denounces Mitt-Stalin as running dog of yankee capitalist offshore banking imperialism.

Palin accuses Mitt-Stalin of taking unserious counteraction poop on heroic struggle of troubled Trotsky:
“What we saw with this ridiculous opposition dump on Newt was nothing short of Stalin-esque rewriting of history,” ~ (writing in revolutionary People's Face Book)


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